Updated: Sep 8
Matresses: 2, Me: 0 - How I Tried to Achieve Jackie Chan's Wall Flip and Failed Miserably
I was 19 years old, for 3 years I had been training in Robert Was school YMAA Krakow. I've never learned a backflip, but I really wanted to learn how to do a wall flip - kind of Jackie
Chan style... Because I wasn't stupid ;) , I prepared two mattresses against the wall. The first time I ran to the wall, I tripped over the mattress. I almost banged my head against the wall... It was a sign: let it go! But I didn't listen to my guardian angel.
The second time with more attention I ran onto the mattress, took two steps along the wall, bounced back and flew. The problem was that I didn't know what to do in the air to turn... I landed flat as a board on my back, but far enough from the wall that the mattress ended at my shoulder line and my head just behind, hitting the parquet floor. The noise was so big that all the trainees in the room, led by my instructor Robert, came running. I think I lost consciousness for a moment, when I woke up I saw Robert's very concerned face above me. Luckily I only had a large bump on my head, no cut. But after that I didn't want to learn wall flip anymore ;)
The Tiger Tangle: A Tale of Gravity-Defying Fumbles and Hilarious High-Fly Kung Fu!
I finished teaching my Kung Fu Kids training in Nowa Huta and left the school to go for a training with Master Robert Was (YMAA Krakow). My car was parked by the road, which was obstructed from the sidewalk by posts every 1,5 metres connected with the chain. Instead of walking around the fence like a normal person, I decided to jump over it because, you know, practising always requires a bit of extra flair.
No big deal, right? Well, the problem came when my training bag, held in my left hand, got caught on the chain, lifting it up. Instead of clearing the obstacle, which was about knee-high, I ended up with the chain at hip height. And there I was, already mid-air. As you can easily imagine, my upper part went over, but my legs got tangled in the chain. I quickly transformed into a cat (or rather a tiger), effortlessly flipping in the air and landing on my hands, performing a graceful forward roll. From the smooth roll, I effortlessly rose, picked up my bag, and got into my car.
During my training session with my teacher, when he wanted to showcase a wrist lock (Chin Na) on me, it turned out that my right wrist was quite sore. Robert asked me what happened, to which I explained, adding that in mid-air, I must have looked like a tiger. The whole group burst into tears of laughter
The Great Leg-Grabbing Shenanigans: A Comical Journey to Perfect Kicks with Bartek
In the world of martial arts, there are moments of triumph and moments that make you wonder why you ever thought this was a good idea. My quest to master the elusive spinning jump kick with Bartek was an epic tale filled with laughter, mishaps, and a painfully swollen elbow. Let me regale you with my misadventure in Monty Python style!
Chapter 1: The Grand Aspiration
I decided it was high time to add some flair to my kicks. Bartek, my ever-enthusiastic martial arts buddy, agreed to assist me in my quest to learn the spinning jump kick. The plan? To perform a majestic spin and kick my opponent's face while in mid-air. What could go wrong?
Chapter 2: The Fateful Attempt
As I launched into my spinning jump kick, something went awry. Bartek, in a moment of sheer panic, he lifted my leg, thinking I was about to give him an involuntary makeover with my foot. In an unexpected twist, my leg went higher, and my trajectory took a nosedive.
Chapter 3: The Crash Landing
The result? A spectacularly awkward and painful crash landing on the unforgiving dojo floor. My elbow swelled to epic proportions, and my dreams of becoming a spinning kick sensation were dashed.
Chapter 4: The Painful Realization
With an ice pack on my elbow and Bartek trying to suppress his laughter (unsuccessfully), I had a revelation. If I wanted to avoid such mishaps in the future, I needed to double down on my training. After all, an opponent shouldn't be able to grab my leg mid-kick!
Chapter 5: The Road to Redemption
Embracing my newfound wisdom, I embarked on a rigorous training regime. Bartek continued to be my ever-present buddy, ensuring that my kicks were lightning-fast, precise, and leg-grab-proof. We practiced tirelessly, and with each kick, I felt a little less like a Monty Python character.
In the end, my pursuit of the spinning jump kick was a hilarious mix of ambition and mishap. While I may have suffered a swollen elbow and bruised ego, I also gained valuable insights into the world of martial arts. One thing's for sure, with Bartek's friendly assistance and a bit more practice, I'll soon be executing kicks so swift and cunning that no opponent will dare to grab my leg mid-flight. Until then, my adventures in martial arts continue, with a healthy dose of humour and humility.
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